I was wondering when I’d written about being untidy, and blow me down, it was yesterday. So much for a tidy mind.
There should be two laws. One against the proliferation of chargers, and one against my being allowed to have a charger at all. Is there anyone else out there as disorganisedly organised as I am?
I have a mental list of Vital Things, things without which I cannot go anywhere, settle anywhere. They are as follows: pills, keys (the correct order, I think), address book, OU swipecard, cards (various), camera (kept with cards, I know, I know), notebook, memory sticks, dictaphone (this is a new thing), phone, phone charger. Last night, assembling the items from their various places, the final item was missing. And the phone was dead. This often happens because God, or his agent upon earth, Orange, cannot receive messages where I live, which is in the A377 corridor, so the phone fades away for lack of use. I knew when I’d last seen it: that moment last week when the idiot light (what’s it called) came on and said I had coolant problems in the car. It was attached to the phone; and I discarded it when I rang the AA (5am on the way to Milton Keynes). Ah, that careless word, ‘discarded’. It is definitely lost (unless I find it).
This is the effect on me: I cannot sleep. I need that phone to be charging on Tuesday, and so, at 1.30 am, I am on the internet, looking for accessories. At 1.45am, I buy a charger. But this morning, waking, I realise I will not have a charger for at least three days. So, even though I have ordered a charger in the middle of the night (I might have ordered two, it was that kind of sleeplessness), I go, when in Plymouth today, to a market stall, where I buy a charger. In three or so days, I will be the lucky owner of two or three identical chargers. Will they all be Vital? It is hard to say. The Plymouth market stall says there are only six types. This would be reassuring, were it not that they only found my type on the sixth look.
In Plymouth, thanks to a student in a very nice group of A215 students, I learn that I have a phone which has Blu (possibly Blue) Tooth. I understood it at the time, but I am too tired to have held the information. Perhaps I need a Human Charger.
As I said in Plymouth, I have taken, when buying technological gizmos, to saying ‘This is for my mother, she is 99, and can hardly see the buttons; could you give me something with Big Pink Buttons, so that she can operate it?’ It works for me. But I also think there is a gap in the market: a shop selling nothing but Giant Gizmos. That large phone Dom Joly uses as a parody is looking more and more attractive to me.
Excuse me while I go and look for my charger again.